When it comes to losing weight and keeping it off for good, we tend to focus too much on saying no to our impulses, cravings, and destructive desires. "No, I'm not going to eat that!" Or, "No! No dessert tonight."
We especially want the food everybody else is eating that we can't have.
And even when we do manage to resist that gooey dessert, just saying no isn't always enough, especially if we hesitate long enough for what I call "mind-tasting" to occur.
With mind-tasting, the thought of a specific food enters your mind and you virtually begin to taste the food — in your mind!
But don't think mind-tasting is all in your head; studies show that various hunger-inducing physiological changes begin to take place throughout the body.
When, for example, binge eaters simply look at a picture of their binge food, or smell it, pleasure centers of the brain light up, leading to that familiar experience called a "craving."
Make no mistake, indulging in mind-tasting will certainly erode your confidence and willpower.
Unfortunately, saying no to temptation isn't the end of your struggle. You find yourself waffling back and forth, drowning in a mind-tasting whirlpool of should-I, shouldn't-I ambivalence.
Sure, you're saying “no” now — but sometimes that "no" turns into, "Well, just a little taste can't really hurt."
If you've been down that dietary yo-yo highway too many times in your life — and one British survey showed that by the age of 45 the average woman has been on 61 diets! — you're going to need more tools in your toolbox to fight the swirling cacophony of destructive, ambivalent thoughts associated with cravings and urges.
As important as it is to dig your heels in and say no to any temptation, there's another valuable tool for building your self-discipline muscle: The power of yes!
"Yes! I can do this!"
Saying no to temptation strengthens you by building up an atrophied self-discipline muscle, and that's necessary for success.
But saying "yes" does something quite different — it fuels optimism. Optimism is the gas pedal that empowers you not only to fight the good fight, but to believe that in spite of your cravings, you are, in fact, stronger than your impulses.
Without that optimistic belief that you really can be strong, that you really can achieve your goal, then saying no becomes hit or miss. You can never be sure you'll say no to that temptation.
If you want to handle the discomfort of an urge or craving and put yourself on the path toward lifelong weight mastery, you need to fortify yourself with a one-two punch: develop the discipline of "no" along with the motivation of "yes."
So, by all means, start out by saying no to destructive eating, but say yes to believing that you can. It's not just saying, "I think I can," it's knowing, "Yes, I can!"
Now that you're pumped up and convinced that you're going to say no to destructive eating along with fortifying your optimism, here's a helpful tip to try. As you well know, in the heat of a dietary melt-down, where twisted thinking produces an irrational fog, good intentions are often defeated by seemingly irresistible compulsions.
For just such circumstances, I offer a simple technique that can save your dietary life: Take a business card and on the back write down a few clear, objective reasons why you want to resist cravings and temptations (saying no).
Then write some optimistic encouragements (the power of yes).
Whenever you find yourself buckling under your impulsive, mindless desires, simply take the card out of your purse or wallet and read your list.
For instance:
1. That's it! No more feeling weak and out of control for me!
2. Whatever it takes, I'm going to look good for the wedding.
3. No! I will not let food rule my life.
4. Be strong! Stay strong! I am strong!
It helps to keep reading the list, mantra-like, over and over until either the urge passes or your thinking once again becomes focused and rational.
Dr. Joe Luciani has been a practicing clinical psychologist for more than 35 years. He's the internationally bestselling author of the Self-Coaching series of books, now published in ten languages, which deal with anxiety, depression, and relationships. His latest book, “Thin From Within,” is a self-coaching, mind-over-mouth approach to achieving lifelong weight mastery. He appears frequently on national TV, radio, and the Internet, and has also been featured in numerous national magazines and newspapers. Visit self-coaching.net for more information.
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